오래간만이예요. It's been really really long since I last blogged. Exams are over, applying for university, waiting for exam results and application results. Really hoped to get into NTU, but chances are slim. Cos' my results gonna be the worst in my poly life. Maybe I've failed the first paper, maybe get a C for the second paper, get a B for the third paper. I'm "prepared" for the worst. The last exam in poly is a nightmare for me. I don't know what happened to me for the first paper. I'd studied. But my mind went blank in the exam hall. Should I blame the teachers for walking past me every now and then, stood near the door which is in front of my table? Causing me unable to concentrate in doing my paper, causing me unable to recall what I've studied. I shouldn't blame them. It's all excuses as others would say. I've cried a few times because of this. 난 진짜 바보야. Why must this happen? It's the final already. Why can't you let me end everything beautifully? I may be able to graduate but my GPA... getting worse because of THIS exam, THAT paper! If only time can be turned back... If only God bless me, my results...

Results out on 20th March. I've got no eyes to see. I've got no courage to see. You may say I'm silly, I'm a fool. I admit. I won't deny. I'm not as strong as what others see me. I'm not as positive as others see me. The only time I would forget about this is when I watch the idol dramas. Immerse myself in the show, I'll forget the painful memories for just a moment. Let me forget for just a moment... If only I can live in my dream and never wake up...